Castles in the Sand

Did terrible when I retook the SAT

Critical Reading 650
Math 670
Writing 560
_____
1880

Compared to 1980 on my last one. I dono somehow I had hoped to break 2000 but ya….

Anyhow, that was a lot of wasted work, I predict I’ll screw up on my SAT Math IIc too. (Not that I already didn’t)

With scores like that, getting into the college I want seems hopeless.

Things to do these next two months:
1. College Applications + Essays
2. SAT II in November
3. Computer Crossroads Stuff
4. TPIT Stuff
5. Plan for Europe Trip
6. Do 2 Websites to make money for Europe Trip
7. Not neglect Schoolwork
8. Not Neglect Internship Stuff
9. Deal with all my other problems and everyone else’s too.

There is just no way I can do this. It’s been a couple moths since school started and I haven’t done anything. Don’t bother with the advice don’t do this or that. I have to do it all. It’s in my nature. No one else can help set up all the stuff for TPIT and make it easy for Jeff next year. No one else is going to plan the Europe trip, which is the only thing I am looking forward to on the horizon. No one else is going to make money for me or help me get into College or allow me to magically gain the knowledge from my classes. Or give me the experience and relief that I get at CCA. Or take my SAT II again and get better then a pathetic 670.

All my friends are busy with their own stuff so the most I get is:
A “I know how you feel” from Anna.
Relax and don’t worry about this and that from Trey.
An “Eh how are you, I did something amazing that I am not going to tell you about” from Brian.
A hug from Alice.
A “You are a selfish bastard that cares only about yourself” from Stoy.
Close to nil from George and Taylor.
“People who have issues need to just deal with them” from Jawon.
And an “I have problems too” from Victoria.

I was going to list responses to those but there is really no need.

There is no thesis to which I am trying to get to. Often life just needs to be stated. Truthfully I guess a part of me is just pissed and wants others to feel pity and understanding, however, forced sympathy is not truly real.

The main goal is therefore to just state the current conditions of life. Although by writing this I am not solving my problems since they are all subjunctive and in my head, by writing things down those subjunctive things become a tiny bit less scary and the world calmer and easy to manage.

Well there you go that’s as close to the truth as I could state things.

Went to a Franz Ferdinand concert and had a barell of fun.

Saw a band I don’t know the name of. They played song simmilar to techno.

Then there was TV on the Rodio they had the feel of blues in Rock, awsome

Then Franz! Awsome concert.

So tired though. Went to bed late and am now on backup power.

Built COWs Today at CCA….